


No Tomorrow

by TheIndifferentDroid



Series: Twitter Fics [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, M/M, eruri - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-15 22:00:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18678181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheIndifferentDroid/pseuds/TheIndifferentDroid
Summary: The night before the mission to retake Wall Maria, Levi goes back to Erwin’s room. This time with a different proposition. He knows he won’t get what he truly wants, but he has one more thing he needs to get off his chest.





	No Tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

> Manga spoilers through chapter 85.

The night before the mission to retake Wall Maria, Levi goes back to Erwin’s room. This time with a different proposition. He knows he won’t get what he truly wants, but he has one more thing he needs to get off his chest.

 

This is after he’s threatened Erwin. After he’s taken it out on Eren and Jean. After he’s drowned his sorrows in ale and uncovered them again with a cup of tea. Now it’s late and he should be sleeping but he’s at Erwin’s door. He’s not surprised to see the lights are still on.

 

Erwin isn’t expecting company. Levi knows this only because he is more undressed than Levi has ever seen him: his shirt is completely unbuttoned and he isn’t wearing any shoes. He makes a small noise of surprise upon seeing Levi.

 

But Levi knows better.

 

Erwin’s eyes say more than he lets on. His eyes say he’s not at all surprised. Expectant, even. Relieved.

 

Levi barges in. Erwin closes the door behind him. Neither of them speak.

 

Levi feels like he spoke enough for the both of them.

 

Levi won’t apologize for his outburst. He knows he wouldn’t mean it, and the last thing he wants to do right now is lie to Erwin. Erwin deserves to know how he really feels. Not that he’s been lying all these years. He just hasn’t been entirely truthful. 

 

And if Levi is right, Erwin hasn’t been entirely truthful either.

 

At least he hopes he hasn’t. Otherwise Levi is about to do something very stupid. 

 

“If this is my last night with you, I’m not going to sit around feeling sorry for myself,” Levi blurts.

 

While Levi typically doesn’t concern himself with what comes out of his mouth, he had gone over his lines on the walk over. And that was decidedly not what he had practiced.

 

“Levi, what’s wrong?”

 

“If you’re content to die tomorrow without ever having done anything about us, then that’s on you. At least I can live with myself knowing I tried.” 

 

“Us?” Erwin asks. He’s fiddling with the front of his shirt, distractedly trying to button it with little success. “Levi, what’s going on?”

 

Levi thought his threat would have been enough, enough to make him feel like he did something about his feelings, enough to let Erwin know. When it comes to humanity, Erwin is sharp. But when it comes to Levi, it seems he’s as dull as a titan.

 

But how could he know? How could Erwin know that Levi wants some other memory of him to hold onto, something soft and private? How could Erwin know that it  _ matters _ to him how their story ends? How could he know unless he tells him?

 

He can’t, though. Levi doesn’t have the words. 

 

Levi feels panicked, suddenly. Trapped yet exposed in a way he’s never been before. He feels like he has the energy of a thousand suns, but he can’t move a muscle. 

 

He has never been so scared in his life. 

 

He’s scared because, twice now, Erwin has had the opportunity to deny Levi’s presumptions about his fate, to appease him with false hope, and he hasn’t. Erwin knows Levi is right, and Levi has never wanted to be more wrong. 

 

“Who am I supposed to talk to when you’re gone? Fucking  _ Hange _ ?”

 

“Levi.”

 

“What if I never find anyone else like you, huh?” Levi’s voice cracks. He’s hit with the realization Erwin has never seen him cry. He clears his throat. “What then?”

 

Erwin just stares at him like he can’t look away. Levi can feel his face getting hot, and his head is swimming, as if he had come straight here after dinner instead of sobering up first.

 

“Levi,” Erwin says, and sighs. “Please don’t ask me to stay again, Levi.”

 

“I’m not,” Levi spits. “Fuck. I’m not. All I’m asking is…”

 

He trails off. It’s all too much to say now. He’s running out of time, and no amount of talking is going to make it any easier to ask for what he wants. As long as Erwin is looking at him like that, Levi is never going to be able to string a proper sentence together. 

 

“Tell me what you want, Levi,” Erwin pleads.

 

So Levi does. Because taking orders from Erwin had always been his weakness, hadn’t it?

 

“Hold me,” Levi whispers.

 

Erwin is on him in an instant, pulling Levi as close and as tightly as he can with one arm. Levi wraps his arms around Erwin’s waist, presses his face into the warm skin of Erwin’s exposed chest. They breathe, as if a weight has been lifted. 

 

Levi has never felt so close to anyone in his life. He’s holding Erwin so tightly that if he were to get any closer he’d be under his skin, and it would be impossible to let him go. But he’ll have to. 

 

Tomorrow he’ll have to let him go. 

 

But not tonight. 

 

So Erwin takes Levi to bed for the first time. And the last. 

 

When Levi is surrounded by devastation on the rooftop, he’s comforted by the sight of Erwin’s hand, thinking of all the places it had touched him, those memories allowing his reality to fall away from him for a fleeting moment. 

 

When Levi covers his lover’s body in that stuffy room, the sight of him on the bed makes his heart seize in his chest. No one is around to see the way his cheeks flush from recalling their night. No one is around to see the kiss he places on Erwin’s forehead before he covers his face.

 

No one will ever see the bruise Levi had sucked onto Erwin’s shoulder—not even Levi—and it will fade away with the rest of him.

 

Once they’ve returned, Levi digs his fingers into the marks on his own body. The pain helps him remember at first. Then the memories do. And he’s grateful for them. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr as [huxandthehound](https://huxandthehound.tumblr.com/) and twitter @[NonchalantDroid](https://twitter.com/nonchalantdroid). Come say hi.


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